Shah Alam Memorial Park

So I was in the car on the way back to my lovely warm hostel when I saw this nice billboard showing green trees under a sunny sky saying

Shah Alam Memorial Park

So I said something along the lines of Hey Mum, why don't we go walk in the park and see flowers and stuff since it's Mother's Day?

And my Mum, being herself, shushed me and said: Mana oo lang khua hua tua cemetary eh?! (Manglish translation: Where got people go cemetery see flowers wan?!)

...

I didn't know they call graveyards 'Memorial Parks' now. What the hell.

I mean, you use graveyard when you want it to sound a bit creepy because it makes you think of a yard full of graves, and yards are usually choked with weed and perimeter-ed by a rusty chain-link fence, so you add that with some graves and you get this feeling that dead bodies lie there forgotten and bored so they might just reach up through the ground and grab your ankles.

And you use cemetery because it sounds very respectful for a place where you bury a loved one. Cemetery sounds very austere, like all the people buried there are solemn upright people who have done good in their lives and who have no regrets moving on. So you imagine a cemetery as the guardhouse to the afterlife where you can't enter unless you died. So you look at that photo of the great-grandma you never knew and imagine you're standing outside the gates of her heavenly mansion and she's looking at you through celestial CCTV and she won't talk to you because you're having inappropriate thoughts in your head. That's cemetery.

But Memorial Park? Park? With the capital M and P? I'm still getting used to it. I mean, right now, I have this image of the standard happy happy park. You know, the sunny one with the family picnics with red-and-white checked cloth under the trees and kids running around and slides and swings and kites and lakes and rowboats and benches. With a few tombstones scattered around the place. Beside the slide, behind the bench, oh a kid tripped over one, a place to tie free rowboats.

So I googled Shah Alam Memorial Park. It looks like somewhere Amy would like to jog. Haha. No lah. A bit like a well-pruned Taiping Lake Gardens. Decorative trees, stone sculptures, stuff like that. I was wondering why anyone would want to make graveyards pleasant and jog-able when I realized who would.

The undertakers. They would want more people to buy space, right? And when people are alive, naturally they would elect to be buried in a nice spot, right? I mean, choice between a view of lallang and a view of poodle-bushes. Hmmm. Even the people who are doing the burying would want to buy a place there. To make the experience of visiting more pleasant, like you're going there to walk with your dead loved one. I don't know whether its a good idea or not. I mean, should we take away the pain of losing someone, just by burying them in the Hilton of graveyards? There's a great deal of escapism and compensating-for-what-you-didn't-do-while-he/she-was-alive and not-swallowing-reality there that I don't think I have the capacity to explore. Then again, maybe people just do it because they think the deceased might like it.

The hell. It even has Facebook. 27 fans.

I applaud their skill in transforming their image 720° sampai I can terfikir of going there on Mother's Day. Dunno lah. Seems to me a bit counter-intuitive to call a cemetery a 'Memorial Park'. Maybe I'll go visit someday to see how much different it is from my grandma's :)

going back grumblings

Manglish post.

Wah lau. Suddenly feel scared to go home. Why? Itu bising-bising in Perak lah. I read a bit only, so I don't know much. But enough to be worried lah. Why they must bising on the 7th ha?

I'm going back on the 7th. &@#^$_(&^$#)*&^$.

You don't block my bus, I tell you! I want to faster go back wan hor! You assemble di Assembly ke, you throw rocks ke, you block the road ke, YOU DON'T GET IN MY WAY. What, you think I want to sit in bus and eat popcorn while you berdrama outside? Boh eng ah... Very sien ohkayy. My nasib lah my bus back to Taiping must stop at Ipoh and Kuala Kangsar. 3.5 hour journey stretch to 4.5 already, you people berdemonstrasi some more. You want me to die of hunger meh. Demonstrate today mah. Get things done early. Don't tunda tunda. Be early, not punctual. Late also can, actually. Just don't demonstrate when I am in Ipoh.

But talk a lot also no use wan lah. Better to prepare sendiri. I better go buy food supply so that I don't starve while stranded in the bus. And better wear black T-shirt. When jumpa the protesters, can blend in. When jumpa normal people, wear my blue jacket. Oh, and standby a novel and earphones too. And torchlight. Can keep myself occupied while the drama unfolds around me.

Nabeh. When I want to go back lah you start blocking the road.

another rational update

Heading back to Taiping this Thursday afternoon. Staying until Sunday morning.

Why? Because I want air-cond.

So anybody want to ajak me out or anything, make sure it's somewhere cool.

taking wei jie seriously

Wow. Didn't expect such a big emo reaction from Wei Jie. Wei Jie, reason I used so many vulgarities is because you didn't seem to mind them. Do remember that during group discussion I called you 'Asshole' many many times. You laughed and continued doing whatever you were doing. So I thought you were okay with expletives. Basically, I just wished you had asked me first.

And another thing: the 'Jackson Four Minute Rule' is more of a ribbing than a complaining. It was a parody of the 'Harvard Four Minute Rule' and since you're the one who showed the most class spirit among ex-Austinians, you kena lah. What, you think there's a 'Memphis Four Minute Rule'?

Looks like you're under the impression that you're supposed to choose between Austin and Jackson. As far as I'm concerned, you're not. The few reasons why you get some dissing about Jackson from me is because

1) You actually try to defend them. It's funner to tease someone who gets all hot and bothered.

2) I was trying to get you to shut up about them already. You DO go on about them, you know? If you still don't believe me, I am willing to record you for posterity. Not that I don't like them or anything, but I don't know Jackson people and therefore find the topic extremely boring.

Wei Jie, you can go forth and express the spiky-haired side of you. But if it is any consolation, Charis once commented on your involvement in BTN LDK and she said: Wei Jie was sitting there making Wei Jie-like remarks. Correct me if I got it wrong, Charis. So I suppose there is a certain set of characteristics we attribute to you. 

We all start out as stem cells, Wei Jie. You can differentiate into any cell you want.

BTN reflections

Well, I'm back from BTN. Learned some. Thought some.

I could feel a few half-hearted attempts at brainwashing. but as a whole, the camp pretty much succeeded in preserving my mental state. My mind is still as clear and unpolluted as it was before.

Met up with an old friend, learned about B's weakness, learned about sleep-messaging, learned about the pronunciation of deo-dorant, learned about Ee Jane's (the Kelantan one) new flame, learned about new items of garglement, tried to find hotter guys to ogle at, divorced Amy, learned that I can actually go 2 km without something worthwhile to run for at the finish line, learned that Captain Carrot knows how to give blowjobs, learned that rappeling ain't all that fun, learned that communal bathing alone is damn fun, etc. etc.

Almost lost my temper at Wei Jie for making me act as The Wife in the patriotic song presentation. When no one volunteered for that role, bloody sonofabitch just wrote my name on the board without even asking my opinion. I hate being taken for granted. When I protested, he just waved it aside and started telling me what to do. Jerk of the century. Just because I helped him once in his stupid video, he thinks I'm at his beck and call. Asshole. It's not that I wouldn't help, but I'd like it if he just asked. But I learned something, that is I don't lose my temper ganasly enough. Zhen Hwang was actually trying to decide whether I'm really angry or not. I shall make it more pronounced next time. Yes, Wei Jie, you with the squid rammed up your butt. I am pissed at you.

Funnily enough, the most vivid memory snapshot I have of this camp is the one of Beatrice suspended in mid-fall - hands stretched out, face still smiling at Zhen Hwang's imaginary pursuit of revenge, legs in a position that will make a upright landing impossible. That moment right before the ground said hello.

The spotlight-lit circle was what made the camp really worth the while :)