February (1)

Why haven't I been blogging for the past month?

There was no need.

I have Yan. I have Ron. I have Bugger.

Between the three, I barely have anything left to talk about!

In fact, I can just lock this up right now and save you a space on your RSS feed.

What say you?

*poof poof*

Good news everyone! I am now rather weary of anime. Or rather, my first few obsessions were of such good quality, the mediocre ones just can't sustain the enthusiasm. But really, it is a fascinating world. I got turned off by yaoi characters at first, but apparently, they're why shoujo mangas sell. So like, almost all shoujos have male 'best friends' or 'brothers' characters that have tenderer than usual feelings for each other. Heh. I'd explain, but I don't think you'd want to know.

***

I have a new favorite swear word!

BATCRAP!

It has such a lovely ring to it, no? Fall down, BatCrap! Forget phone, BatCrap! Forget towel, BatCrap! Find out self is shorter than Quraish, BatCrap! See Batman, BatCrap!

***

And another thing. Washing hair is such a pain.

Then: Shampoo - Wash - Conditioner - 1 minute - Wash - Towel - Comb - Done

Now: Shampoo - Wash - Conditioner - 30 mins - Wash - Turban - 30 mins - Unwrap - Comb - Dry - Serum - Brush - Done

But if I don't do it, my expensive haircut by the hottest Malaysian Chinese guy I have ever met will be for nothing! Yes, he is damn hot. Shut up. Yes he is. He is! His girlfriend's hot! I don't care. He's hot. Like a Chinese Jack Sparrow. With bandanna.

Thankfully, the elaborate ritual is only for the weekends.

***

A shoutout to random readers of this blog. Miss Lee Yan Ming has a new hobby! She wants to make bracelets. If you know of any store in KL selling bits and pieces of stuff she can use to craft her masterpieces, please let me know. I will make sure she makes one for you. If you are a guy, you'll get one too, plus a manual on how to score girls with it. I estimate it raises your chances by 34%

***

I don't understand how I can be so freaking jobless and yet have no life.

a heart on the cover

Was hanging out with Louisa at the library today. She was busy thinking up achievements that aren't yakuza-related, so I wandered off to stare blankly at rows and rows of comforting fiction. Wanted to check if Watchmen finally hit the shelves. Also wanted to look for an illustrated Pinocchio so that I can reduce Yu Chen into a helpless pile of laughter. Wood can be so funny.

Turned into a random section and almost hit a guy. Looked up to say sorry. Behold. Lovely maroon binding.

MY MISTRESS'S SPARROW IS DEAD

One of the earlier poems of beloved Catullus.

Edited by JEFFREY EUGENIDES

I fell in love.

Love stories deemed worthy by the guy who wrote Middlesex.

Who bases his efforts on a young Latin poet infatuated with a married older woman.

This should be interesting.

Also, I have had many people asking me why I am so jobless these days. I'll have you know that I am not jobless. I am merely lonely. Sad, I know. Rub it in all you want.

a compromise

I want to update.

But

1 post = 2 episodes of anime!

How?

cameronian cranks

During my travels of late, I happen to notice that the women of Cameron Highlands generally have perfect complexions and willowy figures, characteristics that are highly prized by men. Therefore, I would like to urge readers who are looking for some high-altitude hanky-panky to extend their search hill-ward. Of course, I do not know if said beauties are partial to said hanky-panky, so that is something the reader should undertake at their own risk. The returns, however, are pleasurable. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of the men.

Also, I would like to caution the inhabitants of a certain hotel about the towel rails in the bath. Do not drape the towels across the aluminium rod. Roll it and balance it on top. You do not want to yank too hard on said aluminium rod when you are still luxuriously steaming like a boiled lobster. The rod will come off and bounce right onto your foot to stamp a circle of blood like a cookie cutter cuts out a gingerbread man.

My blood staineth a twin of thee

And when your reflexes disregard the fact that you are in a wet bathtub and make you step back from the source of bodily injury, you invariably gain much more injury, in the form of a bruised butt and the cold hard steel of the bathtap trying to fuse with your spine.

Which is why I wonder why I have so many lustful couples as fellow lodgers. Ah. They probably never use towels. But there sure was a lot of them making out behind me as I poke the fireplace in the lobby. Toe-wrestling at the bar. Playing tag around the fountain. The brother was highly amused and would try to take pictures. In a particularly embarrassing incident, the whispering newlyweds started hugging in the lift. The brother snorted, pointed, elbowed me in the ribs, and I started laughing. Probably because the guy was shorter than the girl, but still. I feel like I have placed myself at a sub-oceanic level of maturity.

There you go, Yan. I am still capable of saying something without mentioning anime and manga. Aren't you proud of me?