i bet you know what's going to happen

So someone forwarded me an email on how to forward emails safely - BCC your contacts, delete the emails displayed in the text body, don't sign nor reveal information in petitions, don't forward outdated junk, etc etc. A rare gem of common sense in the world of scummy putridity filled with

> Guys repost this if you agree.

> Girls repost this if you think it's cute.

> Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the> girls that read this will repost this .

> Now copy and repost this; if you don't you'll have bad relationships for 69 years.

> By 12 am tonight your one true love will realize how much they want you.

> If you don't repost this, you will have bad luck for your entire life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

and various other attention-starved colour-blind raving-mad neon-powered junk. Yes, I admit I am one of those people who are actually stupid enough to keep my Unread Mail at zero. Yes, I admit I do actually read every single one of these little moments of utter torture. But that's because they come from friends. Yes, I admit I actually think my friends send me stuff worth reading. Turns out most of the time that they don't. Oh well.

Anyway, I forwarded this email to a few friends who I deem most in need of 'advice'. It was a perfect way of telling, 'gently', that I really do not need a guide on how to propose to a girl on Valentines Day, that I don't appreciate my email going out to random strangers you 'know', that seriously, I know you're my friend, but quit spamming me.

You know that some people respond to forwarded messages, right? You send me an email about FW: teddy bears!!!!!!!!!!, and I reply with an email on FW: WhY MeN StArTEd WeArInG CLoThES - MuST REaD!!!. It's like some pseudo-conversation. Both sides are somehow 'keeping in touch' by sending each other nonsensical gibberish. The sad thing is, they're not even remotely cute, nor funny, nor touching. They're just sad.

Anyway, my friends decided to... um.. keep in touch. And so, after reading my short and informative email on how to forward emails safely, I was stuffed with emails exhorting me to 

CELEBRATE FRIENDSHIP DAY!!!!!! 

FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO THOSE YOU CARE ABOUT!!!!! 

OR YOU WILL LOSE ALL YOUR FRIENDS IN 1 WEEK!!!!!

A 9motnh baby was raped by 6men

Please think about that for a moment. The child abuse situation is now reaching catastrophic proportions and if we don't do something, then who will?

Kindly add your name to the bottom of the list and please pass this on to as many people as you know.

If you are signature no.: 1000 - please forward the mail-list to
childprotectpca@saps.org.za

Please don't be complacent, do something about the kids of South Africa ..

You can make a difference. That child is fighting for life. This is just 1 of the million cases of child abuse, so please pledge your support and help keep CPU (CHILD PROTECTION UNIT) open. Please give your support to the petition and ensure that it goes to as many people as possible.

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Nabeh.

The irony.