antara malaikat dan jin

Is how they translated 'Angels & Demons'. Serious. Watched this morning with Ng and Yan and about 6 more people. Yes, Taiping has a cinema. With popcorn. And seats. But it stank of socks. Not even a year and I could pick up that sneaky scent of sweaty sneakers. I do not like the smell of socks. I do not. Why do you think I never go to the Akasia study room? My aversion to socksmell is greater than my aversion to heat. Wish I bought popcorn. Then I could have inhaled caramel with a hint of sock.

Anyway, enough digression. This review is for Jamie, who I think has a predisposition towards liking the movie (Ayelet Zurer and whatnot). Go watch it, Jamie, and tell me how it underperformed ;)

Background: Angels & Demons is based on a book by Dan Brown which I read ages ago and forgot. So I will not bitch about how it followed/did not follow the plot because I forgot the darn plot. Be warned. I have short memory and rather inappropriate imagination. My accounts are never to be taken seriously.

Started with some dull rambling about the Pope dying and shots of men melting gold. Reminded me about chemistry and the properties of Au. Next up was CERN, and I was much amused by the accents of the scientists. French, I think. Damn thick. Then there was this really really cool part where they travelled along the LHC, following the path of the atoms until they collide to produce the antimatter. I was in heaven. Always wanted to see the LHC. Breathtaking. Fuh. Real or not, it was great. Unfortunately, things started going downhill from there.

For one, they had to show Tom Hanks in Speedos. I do want to see certain men in Speedos, but not Tom Hanks. Oh please dear god not Tom Hanks. The moment I saw the underwater shots and splashing, I was like ohgodnottomhanksnakednonoshit!it'stomhanksinspeedos!shit!arghmyeyes..*chokesplutterdie* Alright, maybe not exactly that, but you get my drift. Of all guys to get a Speedo scene, it's Tom Hanks. Why not Spock? Oh wait, no, not him, but, oh, never mind. In the first place, I have a problem with Hanksy being Langdon because he's too old and he looks funny when he tries to rush. And Langdon seems to be the debonair intellectual. Hanksy looks intellectual, yes, that's why he gets to act in so many movies, but he just doesn't have that debonair flair. Oh, and the hair bugs me. And is it just me, or is there absolutely no chemistry between him and the leading (and as Jamie pointed out, only) lady?

Rant over. Moving on. I liked the accents. Zer way zay say theengs is vairi interesteeng. Gotta love Latin. Nice flow. Lots of tongue rolling. Sounds epic. Sounds lovely with deep voices. Gotta love deep voices. Turns me on. Forget I said that. Anyway, there's this one time when a guy said 'for-me-da-blay'. Made me laugh. It's the way he was wracking his head for the word. Reminds me of how I do BM. Formedablay scene comes after Speedo scene, so listen up.

One thing about A&D. They don't show enough of the clues. No close shot, they just go over the statues once and that's it. I mean, come on! Rome! If you don't show the sculptures, what you want to show? I think they featured the Vatican police punya car more than Bernini. I wanted to be able to see the statues like I was in Rome. I wanted another LHC moment. I wanted to be awed. Meh. Didn't even have time to snigger at Ecstasy of Saint Theresa. I want more statues, goddammit!! Note the double exclamation marks! They did have a brief close-up on a statue that had a fig leaf in place of the penis. It was very brief, but I think the Pope didn't take out the balls. But that was unnecessary. The close-up, not the unchopped balls.

Camerlengo. Good choice. So holy, he scared me a little. And the way he talks fascinates me.  Assasin. Okay choice. I might get attracted if he wears them glasses again. Execution of preferiti. First one wasn't great (not clear that he was stuffed with soil) but the rest were gruesome enough. I liked the gradual way the third one ceased to scream. Could have done with closer close-ups of the ambigrams though. Oh, and the Necropolis was a letdown. Too brief, not dark enough, distinct feeling that they were filming it on set. Ayelet Zurer as Vittoria Vetra was forgettable (unless you like sharp-featured brunettes). Lots of old men in dresses, if it turns you on.

What else.. Oh yes. Soundtrack. Damn epic. Must get. Note that I did not say download. Seriously, there are quite a few times when the music is the one thing holding the scene together. It was so intense, I stopped breathing. It deepens the effect of all that ancient marble grandeur, making me feel like that angel thing might just start moving to smite my sinning thoughts right out of my head. Oh! And the supposed-to-be-annihilating explosion is worth looking out for. It's like watching a nebula forming. Plus, that's where the sound effects work their greatest magic. Can feel the shockwaves hitting your brainwaves.

All in all, choppy storytelling, underuse of fantastic location, underuse of lovely leading lady, underuse of great theme of science vs. religion. Sure, they overused Hanksy imo, but it's Robert Langdon's story, so I won't bitch about that. Parts of it were awesome (OST, LHC, solid story, magnificent twist) but I couldn't feel like I was living it. Wrong focus, perhaps. Unfortunately, not an immersive experience. It's almost like flying to the sun on wax wings. Nak sampai, nak sampai, tapi tak sampai.