As it is, I am thoroughly sick of life. My life lah. Calculus, Chemistry, Physics, Calculus, Chemistry, Physics. Perpetually perpetuated. A cycle a cycle. Of course, I entertain myself. I'm playing Sims 3 and Plants Vs Zombies and Spore. I'm reading Madame Bovary and The Trial simultaneously. I'm listening to Tchaikovsky.
And yet, and yet.
The evasion of boredom engenders a great awareness of boredom which engenders a greater sensitivity to boredom which in turn engenders boredom itself.
Yet, is it boredom? Maybe it is merely a long-held revulsion to routine resurfacing for some air. Maybe it is Brown? The kind of feeling when you feel like you're glimpsing parallel realities. You feel like you don't belong, like part of you went off on its own journey, its own destiny and you know you're missing it? Yet I think not. My life is, amazingly enough, little affected by this Brown thing.
A friend has a very simplistic solution.
You need a boyfriend.
Amusing. To talk to? I talked about this already. Didn't work. To care for? I am too lazy. To belong to? I need no owner. Since friends didn't work, I don't think I need a boyfriend. What differentiates a friend and a boyfriend anyway? The 'boy', that's what. The only difference between a friend and a boyfriend is the sex.
I need sex?
Huh.
The Penn-State guy once tried to explain the concept of 'coupling' to me. Sounds too romantic to me. Real deals don't work like that. You get that endorphin rush because you are attracted to your partner because your body is telling you to go mate. If not, there will be no chemicals and therefore, no chemistry. What, you'd date someone you won't mate with? I'd like to know why.
Ennui.
The world can go die and I can't care.
9 comments:
My gosh... one of the most profound and emo scribbles. >.<
Chill, man, i know the current life is..... unexciting and mundane.
But don't let it defeat you la. try to find something that you like. (I know one of them is certainly Sims 3. :D)
Cheer up! ;)
honey,u think ur sick of life?welcome to the club my friend!life as an undergraduate is pretty sad.i'm getting sick of my life too.sick of test/exams.sick of lectures.sick of writing report.sick of electrocuting myself every single time in the lab.sick of all the whatnot. :( join the club suiying.join.the.club.*SIGH*
you electrocuted yourself in the lab?! how? and you say that's mundane? i don't even get to touch copper wires!
friends, families, aunties and uncles.
who are you all to be sick of life. how about we switch to see? but then who am i to say to you all not be sick of life?
but, teoh, i really do not know what you are going through. and why you are going through what you are going through. all i know is what i read from here. though i do wished i know better/more.
well, boyfriend, isn't it just so overrated?
go against the flow of the current. not that you are not already, but yaa. do different and bore boredom out of itself. instead of letting boredom bore you out of yourself.
and yan, seriously? how about i invite you to Die-At-29 club?
saya sebenarnya pun tidak tahu saya tengah merepek apa, tapi apakan daya? inilah hidup yang telah dimula dan ia perlu ditamatkan juga.
sekian.
jane, i can never understand how profoundly you understand even though you have no reason to understand. maybe you're psychic after all.
i'm learning to juggle.
lawl swing try not eating beef or chicken for a few days, plus with nothing to do in your agenda or nowhre to go, then you start wondering about life ok?
Lol. What ler. Technically, coupling isn't really sex isn;'t it? I mean, physical attraction is there with everyone. Sure looks is what attracts you to a person, but only so much right? If the eprson is such a bore, looks won't save him or her right?!
Lawl. If your coupling means sex fun then yeah lor, only by physical attraction
but i always thought sex is the veto, you know? yeah, a guy has personality, yeah a guy has a sense of humour. but will you want to wake up in bed with him? and if the answer is no, sememangnya will never be a boyfriend already, right?
i mean, boring hot guys are still.. hot.
ahaha. That's not a boyfriend. That's a friend for benefits. Don't get them mixed up.
And nope, I don't want to wake up next to a guy, no matter how hot or handsome or cool or muscular he is.
Rich can be considered. :P
you can go wake up next to am elephant, you bugger you! then again, maybe INTEC murdered my notion of bf/gf lah. i just don't see the point of studying calculus while dating. like, wtf?
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