Wednesday, September 2

semi-collected thoughts

It's amazing how lonely it can get here, considering the population per unit area. Oh well. Maybe it's just me. Non-existent conversation with Amy today, which is, honestly, unheard of. She just looks so tired, I didn't dare to even try to make her agonize over a (probably) disastrous Bio test. We didn't even laugh at horoscopes from The Onion today. And I think she's mad about something. I don't know exactly what because she never said. But she did watch a bit of Dr Who, so she's (probably) not depressed (yet). Come to think of it, I didn't hear her laugh today.

Am I starting to sound lesbianish? I'm beginning to suspect myself too. The signs are there. But the interest in checking out guys is still there, so maybe I'm bi. Can't say I'm surprised. A bisexual has everything to gain, and nothing to lose. Besides, easier to find attractive girls than attractive guys. Probably because I go easier on girls. On second thoughts, scratch bisexual. This feels more like pansexual.

Am I creeping you out? I'm sure I am, with all this uncomfortably voyeurish accounts of my roommate and disturbingly honest reflections on my orientation. And these are the things I put in my blog. Imagine what I think and keep to myself. I just realized that I am very probably creeping people out when I talked to KayJay about 'the shifting middle' and how the average always shifts whenever an extreme is introduced so there is no point telling people it's good to be average when people are discovering more and more ways to do evil stuff, so if they keep to the middle they're going to get progressively more evil anyway. This naturally leads to a realization that individuals have their own notion of 'a normal person' and that I might not entirely fit comfortably in that range for a great number of individuals even if I think I am being 'normal'. I am only interested in this so that I know what not to do when hanging out with people so that they don't do the scrunched-eyebrow-i-don't-know-what-you're-saying-and-i-don't-want-to-know thing. Normally, had I had enough human-human interaction, I would probably say "Screw their normal. I am the normal."

Renuhaa tried to pair me up with a guy today. She had to think for about 5 minutes and had to run through about six names before settling on one. And even then, she didn't get any joy :D I am THAT unthinkably unpairable! I feel a misplaced sense of pride. Funny, you'd think people would learn by now that I keep my love life private and that they'll never hear about it from me until it's over (special people excluded). Speculate all you want, but the guy you think I like is never the guy I really like.

The pimple-formation is fading away. For 5 days, I had a pentagon on my forehead. It was awesome :(

A bad book has very detrimental effects on me. That Tractor book by that Lewcyka woman was chick lit, no matter how many high-brow publications laud it for being 'hilarious' and whatnot. Too bad I can't stand not finishing books, so I spent days skipping sentences and putting up with cookie-cutter 'round' characters who rediscover familial ties while battling a deliberately busty 'flat' character. Bah. It was one of the very rare times I return library books before the deadline. I hope V.S. Naipaul can remedy the situation.

It seems that posts filled with random topics like this one rarely generates much comment. I am still wondering why.

Friendships decay. They do. No matter how many times you say forever, no matter how many plans you have for the future, the day will come when you realize you have nothing to say to each other. And everything falls apart.

And, as if the gods are trying to play me like a marionette, right after I typed the last line, Yan and I are having so much fun talking about car trips.

Ironically, the greatest thing about life is the irony of life itself.

He really is hot, you know.


Really?


Really.

1 comment:

KJ said...

LOL! I do not even try. :P

Nah... you are not unthinkably unpairable. Just a bit choosy. ;)