this will start out as crayon physics

A quick post to delay my return back to Calculus.

Today I saw Louisa laugh the hardest I have ever seen. And all I did was show her Crayon Physics. Crayon Physics is awesome! Yes it is! Play! Play! Louisa's genius brother just downloaded the full version! Ask me for it! Ask! Crayon Physics!

Also, play Spore! Learn all that is wrong about evolution!

Yes. I have substituted people interaction with game interaction. Okay what. They make good conversation.

Amy is telling me that she dreamt of Beatrice doing Calculus. This isn't the first time she had a Calculus-related dream. She's nuts.

In fact, I think everyone's gone nuts about Calculus. Am I the only one who doesn't do Calculus exercises? Stop making me feel like a lazy asshole, playing Spore in the library everyday while you people buzz around trying to integrate stuff that want to stay differentiated.

I could start emo-ing about how the airplane of my life is locked on autopilot heading to the wrong continent, but I'm too full of Spore to bother.

Should I try out the Papaya+Milk=Boobs experiment?

Speaking about boobs, I want to congratulate a certain someone about her praised. I was right! You're hot! Stop denying it!

I am going to Midvalley on Saturday because I want new clothes. Ron also wants new clothes, so he's tagging along. Beatrice, who is the most desperate to escape this godforsaken place, wants to get....something. What she wants, is anyone's guess. A piercing, maybe. And can someone please make Amy come with us? It's been a long time since she went out. She no longer listens to me. And yes, I like how pathetically lonesome the previous sentence sounded.

Sorry Charis for bailing out on you. I tried explaining, but you know how protective parents can be.

Oh ya. Kawanku Jane telah berkata bahawa pemindahan ke WordPress amatlah memafankan. Jadi saya tidak akan pindah. Buat masa ini. Ingin cuba sejauh mana kemafanan yang akan dihadapi.

ennui

Am I losing my sense of humour? Funny things don't seem blog-worthy anymore, all of a sudden.

As it is, I am thoroughly sick of life. My life lah. Calculus, Chemistry, Physics, Calculus, Chemistry, Physics. Perpetually perpetuated. A cycle a cycle. Of course, I entertain myself. I'm playing Sims 3 and Plants Vs Zombies and Spore. I'm reading Madame Bovary and The Trial simultaneously. I'm listening to Tchaikovsky.

And yet, and yet.

The evasion of boredom engenders a great awareness of boredom which engenders a greater sensitivity to boredom which in turn engenders boredom itself.

Yet, is it boredom? Maybe it is merely a long-held revulsion to routine resurfacing for some air. Maybe it is Brown? The kind of feeling when you feel like you're glimpsing parallel realities. You feel like you don't belong, like part of you went off on its own journey, its own destiny and you know you're missing it? Yet I think not. My life is, amazingly enough, little affected by this Brown thing.

A friend has a very simplistic solution.

You need a boyfriend.

Amusing. To talk to? I talked about this already. Didn't work. To care for? I am too lazy. To belong to? I need no owner. Since friends didn't work, I don't think I need a boyfriend. What differentiates a friend and a boyfriend anyway? The 'boy', that's what. The only difference between a friend and a boyfriend is the sex.

I need sex?

Huh.

The Penn-State guy once tried to explain the concept of 'coupling' to me. Sounds too romantic to me. Real deals don't work like that. You get that endorphin rush because you are attracted to your partner because your body is telling you to go mate. If not, there will be no chemicals and therefore, no chemistry. What, you'd date someone you won't mate with? I'd like to know why.

Ennui.

The world can go die and I can't care.

updated notification

No wonder people have been coming up to me asking. Rupa-rupanya people do read this blog.

I am not flying this year.

JPA won't let me even after I appealed and appealed again. Plan now is to go back to INTEC, do my ACTP and apply again. Not much of a plan, but I can't seem to think of a better one right now. Unless I can like, hang a banner the size of Petronas Twin Towers saying

SEND SUIYING TO BROWN!

and hope for an anonymous donor.

Yes, I am bummed, yes I have a few words to say about JPA, yes I prefer Brown to INTEC. I am 'The Girl Who Didn't Go To Brown'. I just missed the chance of a lifetime. I just missed SexPowerGod. Yes.

But I emo finish already wor. How? Move on lor.

To those who think I'm depressed, I suggest you talk to me :) Else, if you're cool with this, I just want to multitask and tell you that I plan to lock this blog and move to Wordpress because I like the controls better. Url to be announced when I have had a halfway decent cup of coffee.

Feels weird being the only academically challenged person to get into Brown.

mcFlurry

I just realized I can't remember the last time I had one.

:O

notifications. because i have too many posts titled 'update'.

I might not be going to Brown after all. Remember JPA said I have to get admitted into one of the listed universities AND score > 3.5?

Guess what.

Yeah.

Of all the almost-impossible things to do, I managed to do this. 0.12 short and an Ivy League education hangs in the balance. No one to blame but myself, letting a personal crisis affect my grades like that. Wonder why Brown wants a delinquent like me.

I sent my appeal to JPA already so.. fingers crossed :)

Pending their decision, I will be returning to INTEC for Fall (and Calculus 2). On one hand, I get to see familiar faces again. On the other, I might not be going to Brown. So don't feel hurt if I don't scream with joy and bear-hug you, alright? And don't get all mushy and sympathetic when you see me, okay? Just.. cross your fingers with me every now and then.

Bussing back this Sunday and will be wandering rather lostly around INTEC looking for Indiana on Monday even though I should be going to Providence. I don't know who goes there and I missed 3 days of class already. So yes, I am rather screwed. Who knows, I may land right smack into the first Calculus 2 quiz? In case you missed my hints, I am now blatantly asking you knowledgable people about classes in INTEC, specifically the identities of the inhabitants of Indiana (Indians?).

Alright, since the notifications are done, let's move on to more 'suiying' concerns. The thought of explaining my current situation to people rather sickens me because, hey, who likes talking about not going to Brown, right? Especially when you're so close. But if you're a friend, I won't mind because your reactions are sure to be interesting. Someone suggested I hang a card around my neck and point when directed questions on my presence in INTEC. Another suggested 'business cards'. But I have no illusions about my popularity so I won't bother :)

There. So much for notification. Don't pop your eyeballs when you see me at INTEC.

And Amy, I love you. <3<3<3