yellow ribbons on a raintree

It started with strains of "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree", strangely discordant. Then light. I saw the Lake Gardens. I was moving, like in a car, but that raintree was there, unmoving. It was covered with yellow ribbons, from where the trunk branches to the smallest leaves. Yellow ribbons, fluttering in the sunset breeze. A yellow raintree. Song ends.

A heartbeat.

Shrill sound starts. Like an audible dog whistle. Sound waves ripple the lake. Yellow ribbons convulse, then start floating up into the orange sky. Really weird stuff started floating up too. Pink umbrella. A pair of blue sneakers tied together. A hiccuping green piano. That bird Kevin from Up was flying into the red sun.

A neigh amidst the shrilling.

This horse-thing climbed out from the lake. White like a penguin's chest. Glittery blue hooves. Eyes that mesmerize. Neighed again and unfolded wings. Butterfly wings, coloured like a peacock, shedding wing-dust with every movement. Things shrivel and die when touched by wing-dust. It's name was Polyp. What the fuck.

Ran.

It chased. Grabbed floating lightsaber and tried to hack off freaky wings. It bit left elbow. Fucking hell, carnivore. Yelled at passing transvestite for help. Dude coughed and asked for ashtray. Yelled at Polyp to get him a goddamn ashtray. Polyp continued flapping freaky wings. Saw tent. Ran in, zipped everything up. Sat down feeling safe.

Then remembered corrosive wing-dust.

Tried getting out, tent starting to sizzle. Hooves pressed against orange polymer. Yelled something about tent being flame-retardant. Tent going, going, gone. Put on military-issue gas mask. Grabbed Chinese calligraphy brush and stabbed Polyp in eye. Root beer gushed out. Crazy horse start stamping. Ran away.

It threw right wing at me.

Hit.

Dissolved in wing-dust.

***

I think I just had a nightmare. Well, more like a Butterfree-Ponyta-hybrid-mare, but you get the picture. Interpret this, you dream interpreters! I dare you! Hah! There were so many of them little things floating up into the sky all the while that Polyp thing was giving chase, but I thought the flapping horse was supposed to be the center of attention, no? I say little, but I'm pretty sure a purple bison was calling for help somewhere behind that transvestite.

Notice how a beautiful beautiful dream degenerated into swearing and stabbing. Just about sums me up, I suppose. A degenerator, capable of turning everything into nothing.

Lovely sunset though.

Finnegan's that ends with hotness

I thought an outing with Beatrice and Wei Jie would be awkward, with Beatrice looking on skeptically as I try to keep up a conversation with Wei Jie by asking him about stuff [which would most probably concern Calculus or his girlfriend (Ex? Does it matter?)]

Awkward my foot.

Started out having light breakfast at KFC with Beatrice since Wei Jie took so long to get to the bus-stop. Bus to MidValley. Stare at directory looking for Japanese food. Oooo pub. Irish food? Wanna try? Why not? Sure! Go.

I felt out of place because we look so juvenile compared to the other worldly patrons. But our booth felt so cosy and secluded, couldn't help loosening up. Got excited over alcoholic drinks. Remembered age. Settled for a mocktail. The older people ordered amusingly-named cocktails. Beatrice wanted a Brain Haemorrhage and Wei Jie wanted a Blowjob.

I'll have the Beef and Guinness Pie and a Blowjob please.

said Wei Jie to the waiter. Silence. Then the kids started laughing.

Food was delicious. But of course, the kids were more interested in the alcohol. When the Brain Haemorrhage came, it was so small, we went like, wtf RM18.90? But it's yummy! Begins with a malty taste and mellows to a slight burning sensation. Beatrice recommends. As for Blowjob, we understood immediately why it was called that. White foam topped the glass and flowed down onto the saucer. Decent folk might want to skip the rest of this paragraph because now I shall

start being retardedly foul. It must have been one helluva Blowjob to generate so much semen. Foamy ones at that. Very disturbing to see Wei Jie sip it because he got a foam mustache and it looked like he just blew someone. Probably the waiter. I tried the Blowjob but I don't like it much. Banana liquor tastes weird.

After Happy2Hours at Finnegan's, life feels so sad. Shopping for clothes felt like a necessity. Meh.

Went to Krispy Kreme for tea. Food was unremarkable, but conversation was fascinating. Same thing with dinner at some sushi place. Actually the food was quite good lah, but Finnegan's is like, the standard, you know? Now everything else is forgettable. Stayed till closing time at sushi place because we were too busy talking about 'important' stuff to care whether we can make it back before curfew.

Journey back on KTM was the shortest I've felt. Sat on glittery floor talking. Reach Shah Alam station, no taxi. Jalan balik Akasia. It felt very unsafe so we armed ourselves with sharp stones, as if it would help much. But it was an experience. Wouldn't recommend it, but you do feel the primal defence mechanisms clicking into place.

Didn't make curfew. Lazy climb pagar.

Shah Alam streets are so peaceful at 3am. Felt like everyone died and we inherit the earth.

Slept at KFC. Bad for neck.

Woke up to the prospect of ending all this random weird behaviour. Tak sampai hati, but of course, we do what we must.

Thus ends what passes as an awesome adventure for sheltered middle-class scholarship-holders.

***

There is something about Nutella that makes you want to dip all five fingers into the jar, make swirls, pull out slowly and lick every single molecule.

I am rather proud of my presentation on modern China. I justify this pride with a total of 8 hours of research and the fact that Jennita actually listened. Rambling about stuff you like is always fun! Note to self: Practice speech before making speech. Some things just don't sound as good as they look as text. Try saying "Cox Report" in front of your rather conservative Civilization lecturer. I hope she did not see my face spasm.

Krystal gave me Psych!

Lastly, I like this guy!

this will start out as crayon physics

A quick post to delay my return back to Calculus.

Today I saw Louisa laugh the hardest I have ever seen. And all I did was show her Crayon Physics. Crayon Physics is awesome! Yes it is! Play! Play! Louisa's genius brother just downloaded the full version! Ask me for it! Ask! Crayon Physics!

Also, play Spore! Learn all that is wrong about evolution!

Yes. I have substituted people interaction with game interaction. Okay what. They make good conversation.

Amy is telling me that she dreamt of Beatrice doing Calculus. This isn't the first time she had a Calculus-related dream. She's nuts.

In fact, I think everyone's gone nuts about Calculus. Am I the only one who doesn't do Calculus exercises? Stop making me feel like a lazy asshole, playing Spore in the library everyday while you people buzz around trying to integrate stuff that want to stay differentiated.

I could start emo-ing about how the airplane of my life is locked on autopilot heading to the wrong continent, but I'm too full of Spore to bother.

Should I try out the Papaya+Milk=Boobs experiment?

Speaking about boobs, I want to congratulate a certain someone about her praised. I was right! You're hot! Stop denying it!

I am going to Midvalley on Saturday because I want new clothes. Ron also wants new clothes, so he's tagging along. Beatrice, who is the most desperate to escape this godforsaken place, wants to get....something. What she wants, is anyone's guess. A piercing, maybe. And can someone please make Amy come with us? It's been a long time since she went out. She no longer listens to me. And yes, I like how pathetically lonesome the previous sentence sounded.

Sorry Charis for bailing out on you. I tried explaining, but you know how protective parents can be.

Oh ya. Kawanku Jane telah berkata bahawa pemindahan ke WordPress amatlah memafankan. Jadi saya tidak akan pindah. Buat masa ini. Ingin cuba sejauh mana kemafanan yang akan dihadapi.

ennui

Am I losing my sense of humour? Funny things don't seem blog-worthy anymore, all of a sudden.

As it is, I am thoroughly sick of life. My life lah. Calculus, Chemistry, Physics, Calculus, Chemistry, Physics. Perpetually perpetuated. A cycle a cycle. Of course, I entertain myself. I'm playing Sims 3 and Plants Vs Zombies and Spore. I'm reading Madame Bovary and The Trial simultaneously. I'm listening to Tchaikovsky.

And yet, and yet.

The evasion of boredom engenders a great awareness of boredom which engenders a greater sensitivity to boredom which in turn engenders boredom itself.

Yet, is it boredom? Maybe it is merely a long-held revulsion to routine resurfacing for some air. Maybe it is Brown? The kind of feeling when you feel like you're glimpsing parallel realities. You feel like you don't belong, like part of you went off on its own journey, its own destiny and you know you're missing it? Yet I think not. My life is, amazingly enough, little affected by this Brown thing.

A friend has a very simplistic solution.

You need a boyfriend.

Amusing. To talk to? I talked about this already. Didn't work. To care for? I am too lazy. To belong to? I need no owner. Since friends didn't work, I don't think I need a boyfriend. What differentiates a friend and a boyfriend anyway? The 'boy', that's what. The only difference between a friend and a boyfriend is the sex.

I need sex?

Huh.

The Penn-State guy once tried to explain the concept of 'coupling' to me. Sounds too romantic to me. Real deals don't work like that. You get that endorphin rush because you are attracted to your partner because your body is telling you to go mate. If not, there will be no chemicals and therefore, no chemistry. What, you'd date someone you won't mate with? I'd like to know why.

Ennui.

The world can go die and I can't care.

updated notification

No wonder people have been coming up to me asking. Rupa-rupanya people do read this blog.

I am not flying this year.

JPA won't let me even after I appealed and appealed again. Plan now is to go back to INTEC, do my ACTP and apply again. Not much of a plan, but I can't seem to think of a better one right now. Unless I can like, hang a banner the size of Petronas Twin Towers saying

SEND SUIYING TO BROWN!

and hope for an anonymous donor.

Yes, I am bummed, yes I have a few words to say about JPA, yes I prefer Brown to INTEC. I am 'The Girl Who Didn't Go To Brown'. I just missed the chance of a lifetime. I just missed SexPowerGod. Yes.

But I emo finish already wor. How? Move on lor.

To those who think I'm depressed, I suggest you talk to me :) Else, if you're cool with this, I just want to multitask and tell you that I plan to lock this blog and move to Wordpress because I like the controls better. Url to be announced when I have had a halfway decent cup of coffee.

Feels weird being the only academically challenged person to get into Brown.