weekend at port dickson

Since it was the school holidays and all, my dad decided to drive up to Shah Alam and whisk the family off for a vacation at Port Dickson. Well, not exactly Port Dickson lah. The hotel was at Tanjung Tuan which is about 5 km from Port Dickson. But same lah. I have always been secretly disturbed by the acronym for Port Dickson. It is the same acronym my brother uses for PonDan (transvestites to the more refined). So when my dad called and said "Pack your swimming things. We are taking you to PD." I felt like an unwanted daughter.

The hotel was a 4 on a scale of 10. My small room initially had the stink of socks which thankfully dissipated after a while. No central switch system, so I had to crawl out of my lovely warm blanket nest to turn off the lights before I sleep. Bed was enjoyably bouncy. Bathtub was the standard no-frills kind. My balcony opened to a patch of lawn and the pool. Pool was an ugly shade of bluish-green and too small for my liking. Could barely see 30cm underwater, maybe due to that nasty habit of hotel guests to jump in right after they rolled around on the beach.

The PD (haha) beach wasn't all that great. Sand texture was powdery enough but it was beige, not white. The sea was a dull greyish-green. Probably due to the horrible haze. And the coconut trees were planted, not washed ashore. Gotta have natural coconuts. None of them neat-coconut-trees-in-a-row thing. Those greatly diminish the beachy feel of a beach. Oh, and I witnessed the worst sunset I have ever seen.

As the final rays of the sinking sun sped forth

from the rippling horizon

through the darkening sky

they hit

big

grey

resolutely opaque

clouds of H2O and dust

and fell as ponies

into the sea

Translation: I sat on the beach and looked at the sky for about 2 hours before I realized the goddamn sun set already.

Rant as I may, facilities don't actually matter that much in my beach holidays. Had a great time sipping ice-cold 7up on my deck-chair while watching heat rays beat down on people choking in the pool. Submerged self in lavender bubbles. Tried writing in the sand before realizing my territory was crawling with crabs and ended up filming their miserable pilgrimage to a spot that is, somehow, better. The sand is indeed always beiger on the other side. Played beach volleyball with a Nigerian woman who spoke English to me like I barely left pre-school. She has humongous boobs. That was how I identified her from her other friends. Every time she sends the ball back, I have this irrational urge to check whether she hit the ball or her boobs to me. Shoot me. Also tried riding one of those double bicycles and cleverly grabbed metal fence to stop fall. Blew bubbles with brothers. Kidnapped 3 hermit crabs to torment after spending 5 hours sitting on the beach doing nothing.

A pointless, mellow kind of fun. But I prefer Pangkor.