while waiting for FMA25 to buffer

I have been uncharacteristically happy for the past 3 weeks. This worries me because in my experience, periods of happiness are generally followed by proportionate periods of sadness. Then again, this might be a reward for the horrible month of October. Hmmm. Let us be optimistic here. No reason to worry about the results for finals I have yet to check.

I have decided not to work for the holidays because I know I won't be able to wake up and my parents would much rather chew on wood than let me work the night shift. Also, they wouldn't let me drive to work. But really. Me? Working? Punching in? Smiling when I say 'Good morning'? Having lunch at some random coffee shop alone while thinking about ways to improve my performance? Nah, can't see it. In fact, I can't see how I'll be going through adulthood, but that's a totally different story.

So what am I doing since I'm not working? I'm helping my brother improve his essay-writing, since it was the only service of value that I could proffer to the shrewd landlady we will call my mother. She's a 45kg, 1.5m tall specimen many would call 'gentle' but she does have full control over my dinner. In her defense, the meals have been excellent, but one can never know what a scorned woman can do to one's rice. So I shall not scorn her, and sacrifice an hour of my time trying to follow the thought processes of a 13-year-old boy I have helped raise.

Other than that, it's been all day fun and play for this irresponsible person. Yes, I have been totally enamored with Fullmetal Alchemist lately and no one is more surprised than my dear Yan Ming. I bet she feels like she doesn't know me anymore. But Yan, FMA is not Sailormoon, okay? For one, it's cool. It has ouroboros tattoos and advanced prosthetics. It also has a sparkly man with actual guts. Also, the lead has issues with his lack of height (an issue that, sadly, we can relate to). So, Read it! Watch it! Then we can plot the death of homunculi and the rebirth of a new Amestris! Oh, and if anyone's thinking of getting me a serious gift, I am expecting a replica of Edward's cape. Shameless, I know.

Everyone should be familiar with my tendency to criticize. So. 2012. I saw 4 people die. In a movie about the apocalypse. I shall shudder in my bunker tonight. I suppose you can't really put too much blood and gore if you want to get a PG-13, but seriously. You're talking about the end of the world. I need to feel that a lot of people died. Sure, you had detailed infrastructure damage, but you still need bodies decorating the sidewalk. Also, zero hot guys. Well, I suppose the Indian scientist was cute, but he had a family. Script was unnoticeable, but for one. Referring to a ginormous plane, Yuri Karpov said "It's Russian." with so much pride that one cannot help but wonder if he was talking about the plane. Ah. My tendency toward juvenile derision is satisfied. Also, a giraffe flying through the Himalayas. Precious.

I should probably go to bed now. Don't want to be late for potential conference with a tired Bugger at 11 am.

a rather comprehensive list

CHOOSE YOUR DRINK

Apple Tini B52 Black Russian Bloody Mary Cosmopolitan Daiquiri Disaronno and Coke Double on the Rocks Dry Manhattan Kamikaze Long Island Iced Tea Lemon Drop Manhattan Margarita Martini Dirty Martini Wet Martini Dry Martini Mojito Mai Thai Mimosa Mint Julep Pina Colada Rum and Coke Seabreeze Screwdriver Sex on the Beach Slippery Nipple Tom Collins Tequila Sunrise Vodka Martini Zombie White Russian Singapore Sling Whiskey Sour Absinthe Bourbon Everclear Flavored Vodka Gin Malibu Rum Rum Scotch Tequila Vodka Whiskey Red Wine White Wine Rose Wine Sparkling Wine Amstel Light Amstel Light Alaskan Amber Alaskan Pale Ale Alaskan Stout Alaskan ESB Alaskan Smoked Porter Alaskan Winter Ale Anchor Steam Anchor Liberty Ale Anchor Porter Anchor Old Foghorn Anchor Small Anderson Valley Boont Amber Anderson Valley Hop Ottin' Anderson Valley Poleeko Gold Anderson Valley Belk's ESB Anderson Valley Barney Flats Oatmeal Anderson Valley Winter Solstice Anderson Valley High Rollers Wheat Anderson Valley Deep Enders Porter Beamish Stout Beck's Bell's/Kalamazoo Two Hearted Ale Bell's/Kalamazoo Amber Ale Bell's/Kalamazoo Pale Ale Bell's/Kalamazoo Kalamazoo Stout Bell's/Kalamazoo Oberon Bell's/Kalamazoo Double Cream Stout Bell's/Kalamazoo Third Coast Old Ale Bell's/Kalamazoo Expedition Stout Bell's/Kalamazoo Best Brown Ale Bell's/Kalamazoo Cherry Stout Blue Moon Blue Moon White Breckenridge Avalanche Amber Breckenridge Autumn Ale Breckenridge Pale Ale Breckenridge Christmas Ale Breckenridge Oatmeal Stout Breckenridge Pandora's Bock BridgePort IPA BridgePort Porter BridgePort ESB BridgePort Black Strap Stout BridgePort Blue Heron BridgePort Pintail Ale BridgePort Ebenezer Ale BridgePort Old Knucklehead Budweiser (U.S) Budweiser Bud Light Budweiser Bud Ice Budweiser Bud Ice Light Budweiser Budvar Budvar Busch Busch Light Busch Ice Clausthaler Colt 45 Malt Liquor Coors Original Coors Light Coors Extra Gold Corona Light Corona Extra Czechvar Deschutes Cascade Ale Deschutes Mirror Pond Pale Deschutes Bachelor ESB Deschutes Black Butte Porter Deschutes Quail Springs IPA Deschutes Obsidian Stout Deschutes Jubelale Deschutes Broken Top Bock Deschutes Pine Mountain Pils Deschutes Cinder Cone Red Dos Equis Dos Equis XX Dragon Stout Dragon Stout Edison Light Edison Light Foster's Lager Fuller's ESB Fuller's London Pride Genessee 12 Horse Genessee/High Falls Genny Light Genessee/High Falls Kipling Light Lager Grolsch Gordon Biersch Marzen Gordon Biersch Blonde Bock Gordon Biersch Pilsner Guinness Guinness Draught Guinness Foreign Extra Stout Hamm's Hamm's Light Heineken Henry Weinhard's Ale Henry Weinhard's Amber Ale Henry Weinhard's Dark Henry Weinhard's Hefeweizen Henry Private Reserve Hoegaarden Icehouse 5.0 Icehouse 5.5 J.W. Dundee Honey Brown Keystone Light Kilarney's Red Lager Killian's Labatt Blue Lowenbrau Marin Brewing Mt. Tam Pale Ale Marin Brewing Bluebeery Ale Marin Brewing Albion Amber Marin Brewing Marin Weiss Marin Brewing Point Reyes Porter Marin Brewing Breakout Stout Marin Brewing Old Dipsea Barleywine Marin Brewing India Pale Ale McMenamins Hammerhead McMenamins Terminator McMenamins Ruby McMenamins Black Rabbit Porter McMenamins Dry Irish Stout Michelob Michelob Light Michelob Amber Bock Michelob Hefeweizen Michelob Honey Lager Michelob Black & Tan Michelob Ultra Mickey's Mickey's Ice Miller Genuine Draft Miller Genuine Draft Lite Miller High Life Miller Lite Moosehead Murphy's Irish Red Murphy's Stout O'Douls O'Douls Amber Odell's 90 Shilling Odell's Easy Street Wheat Odell's Cutthroat Porter Odell's Cutthroat Pale Ale Odell's Levity Odell's Isolation Odell's Bobby Olde English 800 Olde English 800 Ice Old Milwaukee Pabst Blue Ribbon Paulaner Original Munich Paulaner Salvator Paulaner Hefe-Weizen Pete's Brewing Wicked Ale Pete's Brewing Oktoberfest Pete's Brewing Summer Brew Pete's Brewing Winter Brew Pete's Brewing Helles Lager Pete's Brewing Red Rush Pete's Brewing Strawberry Blonde Pilsner Uruqell Pittsburgh Brewing I.C. Light Pittsburgh Brewing Iron City Lager Pyramid Hefeweizen Pyramid Coastline Pilsner Pyramid Apricot Ale Pyramid India Pale Ale Pyramid Pale Ale Pyramid Curve Ball Kolsch Pyramid Broken Rake Pyramid Tilted Kilt Pyramid Snow Cap Ale Red Dog Redhook ESB Redhook IPA Redhook Blonde Ale Redhook Hefe-weizen Redhook Nut Brown Rhinebecker St. Pauli Girl St. Pauli Girl Dark St. Pauli Girl N.A. Sam Adams Light Sam Adams Boston Lager Sam Adams Golden Pilsner Sam Adams Cream Stout Sam Adams Boston Ale Sam Adams Cherry Wheat Sam Adams Spring Ale Sam Adams Summer Ale Sam Adams Pale Ale Sam Adams Octoberfest Sam Adams IPA Sam Adams Winter Lager Sam Adams Double Bock Sam Adams Triple Bock Sapporo Shiner Bock Shiner Light Sierra Nevada Pale Ale Sierra Nevada Porter Sierra Nevada Stout Sierra Nevada Wheat Sierra Nevada Summerfest Sierra Nevada Celebration Sierra Nevada Bigfoot Stone Brewing Arrogant Bastard Ale Stone Brewing Stone Pale Ale Stone Brewing Stone Smoked Porter Stone Brewing Stone IPA Stone Brewing Ruination IPA Stone Brewing Double Bastard Ale Stone Brewing Stone Old Guardian Tsingtao Widmer Hefeweizen Widmer Pale Ale Widmer Blonde Ale Widmer Widberry Widmer Sommerbra Widmer Oktoberfest Widmer Winternacht Widmer Spring Run IPA Widmer Drop Top Amber Ale Yuengling Premium Yuengling Light Yuengling Ale Yuengling Porter Yuengling Lager Yuengling Black & Tan Yuengling Light Lager

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Created by Bar Stools

ideas

I miss doing stupid stuff. The best 'stupid sessions' happen spontaneously, but sometimes, awesomeness can be achieved with detailed planning. Which reminds me. I need to reinvigorate StopMotionCamwhoring (or SMC for short. extra funny for me because it is also high school acronym). I have lost all pictures in the reformatting fire.. The Archives of The Battle for Buns is no more.

Guys! Check this out!

[Scotty] After school, me and my friends went to the drug store.
[Scotty] And my friend brought a box of condoms to the counter.
[Scotty] And she scanned them.
[Scotty] And he acted like he didn't have enough money.
[Scotty] He was like, "Shit, I'll be right back."
[Scotty] So he puts the condoms back, and comes back with a bag of rubber bands in one hand and a box of plastic wrap in the other.
[Scotty] Oh my fucking God
[Scotty] Until the day I die
[Scotty] I will never forget that lady's face.

I want to see the look on that lady's face! Go get me a video!

Credits to this site which I spend an unhealthy amount of time in.

I have another idea involving the exploitation of Wei Jie and Louisa's apparent chemistry which makes everyone on earth think that they're madly in love with each other... We wait till the library is buzzing with people, then we station Wei Jie and Louisa on opposite ends of the library entrance. They will clap eyes on each other, freeze, and stare at each other for ten seconds. Then, they will run with arms outstretched at each other. We shall braid Louisa's hair with daisies and make Wei Jie wear a shirt that flaps like a man. When they collide with one another, Wei Jie will do that lifting up and spinning Louisa around thing. And then, they will shake hands, and carry on as if the Bollywood episode never happened.

Of course, we'll have to get Louisa's permission first. Wei Jie sure agree wan. Oooooh it would look so good in stop motion.

But, for now, I guess I'll just stop motion my brother drooling in his sleep.

Oh. Shoutout. I need your help, dear readers. Application-time again! And this time, I have the whole America to choose from :) If you are, or have been impressed with any university, at any point in your life, please contact me and we can hang out into the early morn. E-mail and MSN : suiying[at]live[dot]com[dot]my. Be warned. I have a talent for sounding stand-offish even when I don't intend to.

And now, I will go forth and watch more cartoons.

esei terpesong

Adakah aku akan menjadi otaku? Harap-harap tidak. Ku tiada masa untuk satu lagi obsesi kerana sememangnya terlalu banyak yang hendak ku lakukan. Ku sudah lupa sama ada perkataan 'ku' itu perlu dilekatkan pada 'hendak' atau 'lakukan'. Ku juga rasa perkataan 'dilekatkan' itu kurang sesuai. Apakan daya. Sekurang-kurangnya ku masih lagi tahu menggunakan perkataan 'sekurang-kurangnya'.

Ya, ku mengaku. Semasa SPM ku ada menggunakan teknik 'mengelak' untuk perkataan yang maknanya ku tidak tahu. "Raja Andromeda memerintah rakyat jelatanya untuk mencari maksud perkataan 'perawan' supaya raksasa laut yang ganas tidak akan membaham puterinya." (petikan ini diambil daripada kertas tuisyen Tingkatan 5 yang sedang ku guna sebagai.. er.. petanda buku? penanda? pentanda? nampaknya tuisyen kurang membantu.)

Mari kita menganalisa isi tersurat ayat ini. Kita tahu bahawa galaksi Andromeda masih mengamalkan sistem feudal. Kita juga tahu bahawa terdapat raksasa ganas yang mempunyai kosa kata yang lebih luas daripada seorang pelajar Tingakatan 5. Bagaimana pula dengan isi tersirat? Kita tahu bahawa raksasa ganas ini sedang mempermain-mainkan raja ini kerana ayat tersebut penuh dengan ironi (hanya jika seseorang itu tahu maksud perkataan 'perawan'). Kita juga tahu bahawa tidak terdapat Kamus Dewan di istana Andromeda. Kita juga tahu bahawa penulis ayat tersebut sama ada kurang waras, atau tidak tahu langsung maksud perkataan 'perawan'. Atau sedang bermimpi di dalam kelas.

Dalam kes ini, ku agak bersyukur ayat ini yang digunakan. Ayat lain yang agak kerap ku gunakan adalah "Adik pulang dengan muka yang berseri-seri kerana diberi hadiah oleh gurunya setelah menerangkan makna perkataan [perkataan] kepada rakan-rakan sekelas". Habislah masa depan adik tersebut, jikalau perkataan tersebut adalah 'perawan'. Harap-harap tidak dibuang sekolah.

Susah betul untuk menaip dalam Bahasa Melayu. Garisan merah di seluruh... erm.. textbox? kotak perkataan? Apa-apa sahajalah. Banyak sangat... erm.. hyphen? dalam BM ini. Kata ganda memang menggandakan benda-benda yang hendak ditaip. Itulah sebabnya latihan kata ganda amat memafankan. Dan yea, apabila diminta untuk membimbing adik untuk ujiannya, ku telah mewariskan teknik 'mengelak' ku. Tidak banyak yang boleh ku ajar. Jelas sekali.

Maaf maaf. Terpesong. Adakah aku akan menjadi otaku? Ku bagaikan disedut ke dalam dunia anime. Dahulukala, anime ialah Doraemon, Sailormoon, dan Dragonball. Ku tidak berapa suka. Yang ku suka ialah Pokemon, dan ku tidak pernah terfikir bahawa Pokemon adalah anime. Nama-nama Pokemon adalah variasi perkataan Inggeris, dan bukan perkataan Jepun. Oleh itu, Pokemon ialah kartun, bukan anime, dan amat mengasyikkkan.

Kini ku kembali ke dunia pelik yang digelar Jepun. Tak puas 1945, tak puas kena bom, orang Jepun itu kembali menjajah dunia dengan mata yang 20 kali lebih besar daripada pelukisnya dan rambut yang tidak mungkin boleh diduplikasikan dalam dunia sebenar. Malangnya, ku terperangkap dalam Fullmetal Alchemist, Haruhi Suzumiya dan Studio Ghibli. Mampuslah masa depanku. Mampuslah interaksi sosialku. Mampuslah nutrisi badanku. Mampuslah tidurku.

Mampuslah kalau ini esei SPM.

the balance between society and free-will

It would seem that social interactions tire me. More and more frequently I find myself being pressured into participating in activities I am not inclined to be enthusiastic in.

Press ganging. People do it so naturally.

Take, for example, birthday parties. A few days ago I found myself obliged to chip in for a certain someone's birthday cake, simply because she had bought me a birthday present (that I neither asked for, nor treasure). I felt that payment was sufficient to convey friendly feelings, but apparently, that was not the case. I found myself invited to a birthday party, and apparently, I cannot refuse this invitation because I 'paid for the birthday cake'. I cannot imagine a situation in which that is logical. It would be more logical to assume that payment had given me more leverage to decide if I want to attend or not.

Nevertheless, I tried to make my unwillingness felt in a socially acceptable manner by saying "Aiyah, no need lar. You all have fun lah. I might have things to do that night." but that evidently did not work. Up until this point, I thought it was widely held that if your invitation was politely rejected three times, it is a signal to back the hell off. Apparently not. I find myself heckled with constant and extremely irritating reminders to "Remember ah!" and "Come come! Or she will be sad!"

I'd like to believe that I know when I am an important part of a person's life. In this case, my presence at the party carries little weightage, and is completely unable to engender feelings of annoyance, let alone sadness.

I found myself in a dire situation. I am certain that the party would be an extremely painful experience. I needed to go out for food. Avoiding the party would mean that I have to explain my absence to the irritatingly insistent person, and that would either mean a convoluted lie, or a detailed truth which I am typing at this moment. Attending the party would mean saying hello to a bunch of people I wouldn't shed a tear for even if they were murdered. Avoiding it would mean extended interaction with a pain in the neck, and a night of hunger.

I went to the party.

I wouldn't call it a party. It's just a cake on a zinc table surrounded by people so dull, they consider it a fitting tribute to a friend. Ate the horrendous cake my money paid for. I would have paid not to eat it. To make matters worse, the pain in the neck decided to introduce the both of us to everyone else at the party. She did it with as much finesse as spaghetti code; pronouncing out names so quickly and waving her hands in our general direction as if to introduce a mildly interesting tabletop decoration. Multiply that by fifteen, as she insisted on introducing us to every single one of her friends. I became intensely irritated. I told her she was cruel. She seemed to brush it off, but thankfully the introductions did not continue. If she had persisted, I would have found some choice words to say very loudly.

After some painful chatter, escape was possible. Seized the moment and said goodbye (and good riddance)

I understand that this post does nothing to improve your perception of me, dear reader. But my purpose is not to improve perception. It is to sharpen. To sharpen your perception of me, so that you know the truth. I do not much care if people like me. It is enough if they know enough about me so that they may avoid forcing me into excruciating situations.

Let me spell it out for you. When you ask me for something, I will:

1) Agree - Meaning I am absolutely certain I want, and will do what you ask me.

2) Hesitate - If I do not give a definite answer, it means I need time to think and I will let you know as soon as I reach a decision.

3) Decline - At which you will have two more shots if you really need me there. I shall assume you are desperate and say yes at the third time if it is really important, but if I really don't want to, I will say no. If the invitations persist for more than three times, you will either find yourself stood up, or faced with an extremely sullen and uncooperative participant.

There are people whose opinions I value far above my own, and to those people I try to give my best. There are also people whose opinions I consider beneath my own, and to those people, I give my blissful ignorance. Until, of course, they start forcing their opinions on me, at which I will treat like a very ugly and unwelcome moth on the ceiling. I will heap my curses on you. Then, I will swat you till the juices bubble out of your body, or I will chase you out the window. At that point, you better wish you can fly.

Unfortunately, I had wanted to start ranting a month ago. I find myself dragged into lunches and meetings and projects that necessitated smiling and pretending to value opinions that are absolutely ridiculous. I would love to rant about a groupmate who I suspect is a personal joke of God's. He must have found it funny to disguise a gormlessly brainless echinoderm as a hominid. Unfortunately, echinoderms have no sense of time and are pitifully retarded when it comes to technology. I pray that He ceases this joke soon, and terminate the pitiful creature's ordeal.

At this point, it occurs to me that this post would have been funnier if it had been a satire. But if it was a satire, you readers would laugh and pat me on the back and say things like "Good one!" and "Pity that starfish." That would have further cemented my reputation as someone not to be taken seriously. It would be fun, but sometimes I need to be taken seriously. This is when you take me seriously.

If I derive neither joy, nor benefit from my interactions with you, I will endeavor to terminate such interaction immediately. And I expect full cooperation.

Thank you.