Sex. Wot? What were you expecting? Politics?
I remember telling Bugger and WeiJie about the Kama Sutra while having lunch at Ausmat Cafe. If you do not know what the Kama Sutra is, heaven help you. or rather, Google help you :) Anyway, I am so sorry for my inaccurate memory, Bugger and WeiJie. Got it all mixed up (with what, I do not know)
So, as penance for my mistakes, here is a more accurate account of
How To Enlarge Your Joystick - The Ancient Indian Way
*insert cheap tacky graphics of men in Photoshopped briefs smiling coyly*
When a man wishes to enlarge his joystick, he should rub it with the bristles of certain insects that live in trees
Ganas, hor? Imagine how it would feel like, those bristles bristling around your... ah... game console. It wouldn't be rubbing, it would be more like, scrubbing...
After rubbing it for ten nights with oils, he should again rub it with the bristles as before. By continuing to do this a swelling will be gradually produced in the joystick.
He should then lie on a cot, and cause his joystick to hang down through a hole in the cot.
So, uh, you drill a hole through your bed, and uh, stick your, uh, through it and lie there for.. Damn. Specifics, Mr Burton! Specifics! How is Bugger going to do it if you don't tell him exactly how?
After this he should take away all the pain from the swelling by using cool concoctions.
Like ice cream
The swelling, which is called 'Suka', and is often brought about among the people of the Dravida country, lasts for life.
Hey! Not bad, right? A few weeks of bowleggedness and you have a lifetime of wow-ing ladies off their skirts!
Wait. SUKA?!?! That's! A Malay word!
Oh God.
So when my teacher said "Saya SUKA karangan kamu"
It means...
Holy crap.
*exorcises disturbing images*
But hey, that means you can actually go around threatening guys!
"Saya SUKA kamu baru tahu!"
It would almost be the equivalent of KayJay's "I KISSS you!"
Anyway, that's about it, Bugger and WeiJie. There ARE more. In fact, the entire text is online here. Have fun reading! And experimenting ;)
[Edit: This blog and its owner is not responsible for any damage to sexual organs and/or love lives brought about by excessive enthusiasm about this idea.]
5 comments:
Sui ying's imaginations run wilder than KJ at night in Cendana.. adoi adoi.. I'll pray for u..
**still laughing like mad**
is that your aunty's kama sutra you are reading??? naughty naughty.
so if that is the joystick, then the women's would be the hands that manuever the joysticks? awesome.
then its like playing car racing. sperms would be the cars, the ovum is the finish line and the throphy is the penetration of the sperm to the ovum - ovulation.
anyway, i hope all is clear now. err. no wonder fauzan and arif link me in their blogs. thats is why i have their links in my blog. its all such a big confusion. aaah. well, anyway though, nice to meet you guys. you guys have great blogs. keep it up.
have a good one.
oh...after all those years of waiting,u finally got hold of THAT book huh?i think ur aunty kept the book until u turned 17...LOL.oh well,IT'S ABOUT TIME!!hehe.
omgush jane!!car racing??hmm...good imagination of urs(as usual...)
And I thought my "Michael Phelps" was dirty...
*stares at the comments above with disbelieve*
OMG.. which aunty is that?? Wait.. don't tell me...
too late... it is embedded already
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