Anyway, I switched instructors. No more Mister Geezer. Yay. I got to choose between two new instructors: another old fella and a young one. So I was like, the young one! the young one! because obviously, I'd prefer to spend ten hours of my life with a strapping young hottie than with a wheezy old greybeard. Then I saw the cars that come with the person. They were inversely proportional to their ages. Young dood will be teaching in a faded red Kancil that spews grey smoke. Old apek will be teaching in a brand new silver Kancil that runs as smooth as a Proton possibly can.
Okay...
So I went with the old fella. Strapping young hottie wasn't that strapping nor was he a hottie. And wheezy old greybeard doesn't wheeze that much and is actually clean-shaven. Gosh. I wonder if I'd do the same with husbands..
ANYWAY
I decided to name my instructor Speeder
#1. Because his top advice to me is "Slow down. Slow down. Don't speeding. Brake. Brake! BRAKE!!!!"
#2. He drives as fast as I did when he gave me 'advice' okay.. okay.. at half the acceleration.
#3. Because he repeatedly reminds me to watch the speedometer so that I don't exceed the speed limit. "Look at speedo ha.. Look at speedo.. See, over 30 at zebra-crossing already. Fail then you know.."
Do you know how hard it is to concentrate on driving when he does #3? I mean, the dude is practically begging me to 'look at speedo'! And to me, speedos do not have numbers... So everytime he says speedo, images of swimming pools and six-packs and tans and incredibly sexy parts of the male body and Phelps and muscles start flashing by my line of sight.
The first time he said that, I actually snorted and stepped on the accelerator instead of the brakes. Hard. I had the time of my life! :D
And I think he formed a very close friendship with the seatbelt. Love the way he clings to it every time I act dumb! Once, I stepped on the accelerator at the sharpest point of a turn and said "whoops! i thought that was the brake!" and I thought he'd laugh. He didn't. He was clutching the belt like he was dangling off it a mile above ground. Priceless.
But other than messing around with Speeder, there isn't much I can think of that is even remotely interesting. Parking, 3-point-turns and hills are pretty much no-brainers. Your engine dying in the middle of a busy junction might seem pretty embarrassing, but really, a smile and a wave and everybody forgives you.
In fact, driving by the rules gets pretty frustrating after a while. 30kmph is sooo slooowww. And pulling handbrakes at every bloody junction and looking leftrightleft even though the place is as populated as Pluto gets really irritating. And for some reason, the ticking of the signal lights bother me.
Anyway, if any of you have ideas on what more I can pull on Mister Speeder, please drop a doodle or two! Come on, give us something to write ;)
5 comments:
choosing husband or car?
OMG. Yeah la. My instructor asked me to keep to 30. Max 50. Other people get to drive on the highway to Bukit Merah on their first lesson.
Good luck! When's ur driving exam anyway?
you realise that the passenger seat has a brake paddle too? so..tell the uncle,
'uncle, uncle, mien kia eh..wa hua chia very safe eh. tapi nasi wa beh ki tak brake, you tak la.. wa lang partner, wa bo long chia, lu mun mien si. so its a win-win situation.'
man, that idea sucked.
i'll be thinking.
lol.my instructor was the total opposite.on the very first day,he took me all the way to Kamunting plus toll.from there i drove all the way to Simpang using the old trong road.and that road was filled with tonnes of lorries!!then he asked me to overtake 3 vehicles in a row!!i was going at about 90km/h!!on my very first day!!it was cool...
yeah,did you realise there's a brake paddle at the co-driver's seat??u can ask ur instructor to press on that paddle when he's hangging for dear life!!LOL.
lol. speedo? haha. I'd love to see Speeder's face when he's holding onto his life though. :P He probably tag appointments with you with a word synonymous with 'heart attack meds'. just in case.
ps: I'm stuck here alone. Of course i miss you. I miss everybody. lol.
My son-of-a-bitch of an instructor mainly instruct in Mandarin. But he gives unclear instructions that I have to ask him to repeat. And he kept questioning about my ability to converse in Mandarin. Motherfucker! I hope he gets killed in a car crash...
Anyway, so this guy is very bad in his other languages, and so he tries to explain to me in English. I just pretended not to understand him.
Anyway, you still need him to help you to bribe, so don't push your luck too far.
Without bribes, its not going to be easy to pass.
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